Horo No-Scope

Good morrow, and well-to-do-tidings to you seeker of knowledge. You came to the right mobile home in this Six Flags parking lot, for I Chiaseed Flaxman; gazer of truths, reader of palms, herald of the Great Buxle-Bum, and certified acupuncturist from UCB Community College, will be your boat man upon this river of secrets. I […]

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How to Fight a Goose

Ah Spring, the time of year when Father Winter stops beating us with his belt, and goes back to work at the factory (but he’ll be back in November, don’t celebrate yet). The snow is melting, flowers are budding, and people are cracking open their windows to let out that six-month old stank that’s been […]

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How to Fight a Gang of Stray Cats

How many times has this happened to you; you’re walking back to your house on a warm summer night, maybe enjoying some iced dessert, when suddenly you’re surrounded by a gang of stray cats! Why is this Happening? There are a multitude of reasons why you’ve gotten yourself in this precarious situation. Maybe because you’ve […]

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How to Fake Loving Football

It’s game day, and you’ve been invited to a Super Bowl party. Congrats on finally crawling out of your cocoon and taking the first steps to becoming a beautiful, socially awkward butterfly. The only problem is that you know nothing of the sport (or sports in general), and that you’re what medical professionals refer to […]

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